The other night, a woman approached Tee Jay in Lowe's and asked his many opinions on what type of drill she should buy, if each drill was battery-operated or electric, if extra bits would need to be purchased. During this exchange, Casey provided her own thoughts (usually just a shy, turning-her-head-away "no" when the woman directed the conversation her way). When Casey asked, "What's your name?" the woman responded with "Linda - but you know, you really shouldn't talk to strangers..."
Okaaaaaay, LINDA. Technically, you're correct. Casey shouldn't talk to strangers. And as her parents, Tee Jay and I should definitely be teaching her that lesson. But where are we supposed to draw the line? Where do we go past the limit of being friendly and enter the realm of "this person is a stranger who shouldn't be spoken to"?
I mean, first of all, it was Linda who started talking to Tee Jay in the first place - it was she who came up to a stranger and asked for his advice. Secondly, Casey with with her father. It wasn't like she was wandering by herself through the hardware aisle, asking folks their names. Lastly, strangers are constantly making small-talk with the parents of young kids - they "ahh goo" at our baby and question our toddler on how old she is. They like to smile and say "hi" in pretty much every setting, from the park to the supermarket to church and so on. Tee Jay and I have always taken the stance of being polite, so I've heard us often encourage Casey to "say hi!" to these people. When do we teach her that that's not okay?
Which brings me to another "what is the limit?" matter in our lives: homeless people.
When I was in high school, my then-boyfriend and I spent a lot of time in downtown Providence, and when a homeless person would ask us for money, we'd often take them into the nearest fast food restaurant and pay for a meal -anything they wanted- instead of giving them cash outright. We'd also frequently purchase a dozen Dunkin Donuts (they were half-price after 8:00PM) and hand them out. We thought we were doing some good while also not feeding the beggars' possible guilty pleasures.
Now that I live in Philadelphia, I obviously encounter homeless people and/or panhandlers at times. Granted, they're not in our suburban'ish neighborhood... but we certainly run into them when we're on the subway, downtown, and driving around in the car. In particular, there is one homeless man whom we've seen standing in the middle of a busy boulevard every time we've ventured out to our nearby BJs store. A couple of times, I have rolled down my window and handed him a $1 bill or a handful of change, to which he always says "Thank you, God bless you." Casey asks me who the man is and "what's he doing, Mommy?" when we have these encounters, and I do my best to explain that he doesn't have a job, he is probably hungry, and he is in need of a little bit of money. Then I usually find myself back-pedaling a bit, explaining that we can't give away everything we have because we need to eat, too, but that sometimes it's best to help people out - and that most of all, I guess we should just say a quick prayer for that man so that Jesus will watch over him each night and maybe help him to find a home and work soon.
Am I supposed to teach my child that this homeless man deserves some of my money - or that he is a stranger she shouldn't speak with or give anything to? Am I supposed to ignore the man when we sit at a red light right next to him, knowing in my head that he may be using folks' loose change to purchase alcohol or drugs or cigarettes? Or am I supposed to follow my heart, which tells me that no matter what his story is, whether it involves addictions or not, whether he is homeless "by choice" or not, whether he could work harder to find employment or not, he would NOT be doing what he's doing without there being some serious hardships in his life?
Let's face it. When my traffic light turns green, I take a left-hand turn, pull into BJs, spend a couple hundred dollars on some necessities (but also on many "splurge" items like brie cheese or craisins), and then drive back home - in my car, with the gas I could afford to put in it - to my home, which has air-conditioning and heat and a bathroom and cozy beds and too many toys and games and movies and other nonsensical items. No matter what, even if he could maybe make some different choices in his life, this man doesn't have the same luxuries I have right now.
I'm not writing this post to sound like a good person or to invoke anyone else to "get out there and do something." I seriously do struggle with which message I'm supposed to feed to Casey, and which actions I want her to see me taking.
This morning, we handed our homeless "friend" a little bit of change I found in my wallet and went on our way. But an hour later, as we loaded the car with our BJs groceries, I grabbed an old gift bag lying in the back and filled it with some of the goodies we'd bought - 10 packs of peanut butter crackers, a few rice krispy treats and chewy granola bars, a bottle of water and can of Diet Coke. We stopped at Wendy's next door and added a 20-pack of chicken nuggets to the bag, and then we pulled onto the boulevard and delivered our gift to the man. He didn't know what was inside as we drove away, but he said, "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness" at the heavy bag - "Thank you, God bless you."
I know we did a "good Christian deed," but I'm still unsure of what to teach my kids about limits, safety, charity and cautious cynicism. Any thoughts?
Monday, October 10, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Remembering...
In memory of the horrible acts of terrorism we witnessed on American soil 10 years ago today, and in honor of the men and women who gave their lives, some of whom bravely made that choice to put other lives ahead of their own, and in support of the thousands of people who mourn that loss every day, here are some little glimpses of patriotism in our household.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Alleluia...
Casey loves our church, St. Tim's. We pass it on days when she goes to daycare, and she has a wonderful after-Mass-hug relationship with one of our priests, Father Pat. She often asks to go to church (and yes, we sinners tell her to just wait for Sunday instead of taking her midweek!) and loves to talk about the church, the priests, the parking lot (yes, the parking lot!), and who she might bring to her church somedays ("I bring Auntie Heather there somedays, Mommy").
If you know Casey, then you probably know that she likes to sing about EVERYTHING. When she was a little younger, we started out by singing the "Elmo's World" song. Once we turned it into "Casey's song," she began requesting "Papa's song" and "Auntie Erin's song" and "Jack the doggy's song" and so on. If she knows and loves you, I can GUARANTEE that we sing about you on a regular basis! (Yes, that includes all grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, pets, and animals we've met along the way.)
If she asks me to "la la" something that I'd rather not make up a song for, such as "La la supermarket, Mommy?" I tell her that the supermarket doesn't have a song. To which she responds, "Happy Birthday supermarket, Mommy?" and then we move on to quickly wishing the something a very happy birthday.
If she asks us to "la la" something that might already have another song in existence that could work in place of the Elmo tune, such as "La la city bus, Mommy?" I will go right into its own song (for instance, "The Wheels on the Bus").
Sound confusing? Believe me, it can be!
ANYWAY (as this short little story gets farther and farther away from me), getting back to the church bit, when she first asked us to "La la church, please?" we sang a version of the pre-Gospel "Alleluia." For the Psalm verse, I made something up (which I'm sure is NOT actually a Psalm) by singing, "Jesus has risen today, Alleluia we sing our praises, for the Lord has risen to-oo-oo-day" and went back into the "Alleluia" part of the chant. The next time she asked us to sing the church song, I began to make up another verse, to which she promptly sang the original (yet made-up) version and told me, "Like THAT, Mommy." So the girl has a good memory, I s'pose... (smile)
And speaking of church, as I previously mentioned, we had Finlay Baptized into his Catholic faith back in July, during his second month. Instead of being Baptized at our parish here in Philadelphia, we traveled up to my sister's house in New Hampshire (yes, we slept over their house - meaning that four adults, seven kids, and two cats were under one roof!), and Finlay received his first Sacrament alongside his new cousin Eliza Marie. Eliza's parents Tree and Shawn are serving as Finlay's godparents, while Tee Jay and I have proudly taken on the role of Eliza's.
It was a GREAT day, filled with family, friends, and many beautiful moments.
The Godfathers:
I just love the little smirks in this picture (and it amazes me how different both babies look now, one month later!):
After all the excitement of the day (and probably singing many rounds of "Alleluia"), Casey was a very sound napper!
If you know Casey, then you probably know that she likes to sing about EVERYTHING. When she was a little younger, we started out by singing the "Elmo's World" song. Once we turned it into "Casey's song," she began requesting "Papa's song" and "Auntie Erin's song" and "Jack the doggy's song" and so on. If she knows and loves you, I can GUARANTEE that we sing about you on a regular basis! (Yes, that includes all grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, pets, and animals we've met along the way.)
If she asks me to "la la" something that I'd rather not make up a song for, such as "La la supermarket, Mommy?" I tell her that the supermarket doesn't have a song. To which she responds, "Happy Birthday supermarket, Mommy?" and then we move on to quickly wishing the something a very happy birthday.
If she asks us to "la la" something that might already have another song in existence that could work in place of the Elmo tune, such as "La la city bus, Mommy?" I will go right into its own song (for instance, "The Wheels on the Bus").
Sound confusing? Believe me, it can be!
ANYWAY (as this short little story gets farther and farther away from me), getting back to the church bit, when she first asked us to "La la church, please?" we sang a version of the pre-Gospel "Alleluia." For the Psalm verse, I made something up (which I'm sure is NOT actually a Psalm) by singing, "Jesus has risen today, Alleluia we sing our praises, for the Lord has risen to-oo-oo-day" and went back into the "Alleluia" part of the chant. The next time she asked us to sing the church song, I began to make up another verse, to which she promptly sang the original (yet made-up) version and told me, "Like THAT, Mommy." So the girl has a good memory, I s'pose... (smile)
And speaking of church, as I previously mentioned, we had Finlay Baptized into his Catholic faith back in July, during his second month. Instead of being Baptized at our parish here in Philadelphia, we traveled up to my sister's house in New Hampshire (yes, we slept over their house - meaning that four adults, seven kids, and two cats were under one roof!), and Finlay received his first Sacrament alongside his new cousin Eliza Marie. Eliza's parents Tree and Shawn are serving as Finlay's godparents, while Tee Jay and I have proudly taken on the role of Eliza's.
It was a GREAT day, filled with family, friends, and many beautiful moments.
The Godfathers:
I just love the little smirks in this picture (and it amazes me how different both babies look now, one month later!):
After all the excitement of the day (and probably singing many rounds of "Alleluia"), Casey was a very sound napper!
Monday, August 29, 2011
C'Mon, Irene!...
I show you this picture, thankful that Irene didn't do nearly as much damage as we thought she might... but at the same time, I still have family without power! Prayers being said...
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Caught Up...
I just came on here to check out my granola bar recipe, as it's been awhile since I made them, and I can't seem to find instructions in paper form here in the house.
I found the appropriate post (I'm adding flax seed to the dry ingredients today, but won't know what else until I get into the kitchen), but also started reading the ones around it...
about Casey turning 11 months old...
about silly things we've said to each other...
about birthdays and Christmases and Red Sox seasons...
And in reading those posts, I began to feel guilty that when she asked for more hugs the FIFTH time today when she was supposed to be napping, I gave her the requested hugs, but somewhat begrudgingly. I told her sternly that Finlay and I were NOT coming into her room again - we were NOT going to give another hug until after her nap. And NO, Daddy was NOT going to give her a hug, because YES, Daddy was at work. (She continued to insist that I send him in, and I lost my temper momentarily and said, "Daddy is NOT here!! He's NOT HERE! Take. Your. Nap!")
I have to remind myself that the little girl who sometimes drives me crazy is MY little girl. My smart, sweet, loving, wanting-to-give-too-many-hugs daughter. Our only child before Finlay arrived and before we lost a lot of our patience. Poor thing. I think I'll make the granola bars extra awesome, just for her.
I found the appropriate post (I'm adding flax seed to the dry ingredients today, but won't know what else until I get into the kitchen), but also started reading the ones around it...
about Casey turning 11 months old...
about silly things we've said to each other...
about birthdays and Christmases and Red Sox seasons...
And in reading those posts, I began to feel guilty that when she asked for more hugs the FIFTH time today when she was supposed to be napping, I gave her the requested hugs, but somewhat begrudgingly. I told her sternly that Finlay and I were NOT coming into her room again - we were NOT going to give another hug until after her nap. And NO, Daddy was NOT going to give her a hug, because YES, Daddy was at work. (She continued to insist that I send him in, and I lost my temper momentarily and said, "Daddy is NOT here!! He's NOT HERE! Take. Your. Nap!")
I have to remind myself that the little girl who sometimes drives me crazy is MY little girl. My smart, sweet, loving, wanting-to-give-too-many-hugs daughter. Our only child before Finlay arrived and before we lost a lot of our patience. Poor thing. I think I'll make the granola bars extra awesome, just for her.
Two Months...
As promised, though late, here are Finlay's two month stats:
Weight: 11lbs, 12oz
Height: 22.5in
Head Circumference: 14.25in
These seem like good measurements to us, especially because we can see Finlay's growth happening each day. He looks completely proportional to us, and yet...
The doctor's office gave us the percentiles for the above numbers, and I guess he's not quite proportional after all!
Weight: 50th percentile
Height: 40-45th percentile
Head Circumference: well... he's not even on the chart!
Dr. T was not at all concerned about the size of Finlay's little head, saying that he's been growing at the same rate since birth, and some kids just have smaller sizes.
Personally, I think that head circumference measurements must run in such a small range, since Casey always fell around the 10th percentile, her friend was way OFF the charts (as in, he had a big enough head that he was actually checked by a specialist as a "just in case"), and yet they both looked pretty much the same to everyone. I guess that (so far) Tee Jay and I produce kids with bitty noggins... but man, are those kids ever cute!!
In Finlay's second month, he began to smile and coo at us. I was anxious* for the first real smile, and it came while I was bathing Finlay by myself (a job usually reserved for Daddy) when he was 6weeks, 2days old. It was an adorable sight to behold, but a fleeting one. Finlay appears to be our "Mr. Serious" and his smiles are few and far between. (In fact, I'm pretty sure that ceiling fans have coaxed far more grins out of him than family members!)
The cooing is another story all together, since that is something we get to hear plenty of. It began as a tiny little "O" lip formation, but has progressed into many different sounds, two and three syllables at a time, some trilling of the tongue, and so on.
Just in case you were curious (and I can probably assure myself that you weren't), Finlay's bowel movements have slowed down significantly, and he presents me with a stinky diaper once every 5 or 6 days. People are always amazed by this information, but it's completely normal for his age and as a result of being exclusively breastfed. I remember when Casey started a phase of pooping once every two weeks! (Can you imagine?)
Sleep patterns have really become wonderful at nighttime over the second month. After he eats before bedtime (about 7 or 8PM), Finlay then sleeps for 5-6 hours before waking for the next feeding; then he goes back to an every-3-hour schedule. Casey did not steadily sleep for a long stretch like this until she was well past a year old, and Finlay's decision to do so has been met with much Mommy-approval.
On a special note, Finlay was Baptized alongside his cousin Eliza when he was seven weeks old, and we'll add a post about it with pictures.
We're loving our family of four and will share more soon!
* Look up the proper grammatical usage of "anxious" and you'll learn that I'm using this word incorrectly - Tee Jay is a stickler about it.
Weight: 11lbs, 12oz
Height: 22.5in
Head Circumference: 14.25in
These seem like good measurements to us, especially because we can see Finlay's growth happening each day. He looks completely proportional to us, and yet...
The doctor's office gave us the percentiles for the above numbers, and I guess he's not quite proportional after all!
Weight: 50th percentile
Height: 40-45th percentile
Head Circumference: well... he's not even on the chart!
Dr. T was not at all concerned about the size of Finlay's little head, saying that he's been growing at the same rate since birth, and some kids just have smaller sizes.
Personally, I think that head circumference measurements must run in such a small range, since Casey always fell around the 10th percentile, her friend was way OFF the charts (as in, he had a big enough head that he was actually checked by a specialist as a "just in case"), and yet they both looked pretty much the same to everyone. I guess that (so far) Tee Jay and I produce kids with bitty noggins... but man, are those kids ever cute!!
In Finlay's second month, he began to smile and coo at us. I was anxious* for the first real smile, and it came while I was bathing Finlay by myself (a job usually reserved for Daddy) when he was 6weeks, 2days old. It was an adorable sight to behold, but a fleeting one. Finlay appears to be our "Mr. Serious" and his smiles are few and far between. (In fact, I'm pretty sure that ceiling fans have coaxed far more grins out of him than family members!)
The cooing is another story all together, since that is something we get to hear plenty of. It began as a tiny little "O" lip formation, but has progressed into many different sounds, two and three syllables at a time, some trilling of the tongue, and so on.
Just in case you were curious (and I can probably assure myself that you weren't), Finlay's bowel movements have slowed down significantly, and he presents me with a stinky diaper once every 5 or 6 days. People are always amazed by this information, but it's completely normal for his age and as a result of being exclusively breastfed. I remember when Casey started a phase of pooping once every two weeks! (Can you imagine?)
Sleep patterns have really become wonderful at nighttime over the second month. After he eats before bedtime (about 7 or 8PM), Finlay then sleeps for 5-6 hours before waking for the next feeding; then he goes back to an every-3-hour schedule. Casey did not steadily sleep for a long stretch like this until she was well past a year old, and Finlay's decision to do so has been met with much Mommy-approval.
On a special note, Finlay was Baptized alongside his cousin Eliza when he was seven weeks old, and we'll add a post about it with pictures.
We're loving our family of four and will share more soon!
* Look up the proper grammatical usage of "anxious" and you'll learn that I'm using this word incorrectly - Tee Jay is a stickler about it.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The House of Crafting Insanity...
The Boudreau family gets together each year on the Sunday preceding Christmas to enjoy each other's company and sing carols in Grandma's basement around the up-and-decorated-all-year-long tree. Around the same time that I was ushered into this tradition, my two fellow admin assistants and I decided to homebake Christmas goodies for the executives in our department. I figured that because there were so many Boudreaus to celebrate the holidays with, I would bake treats for them as well... and crafty Christmases began.
After a few years of baking, my nephew Jamie asked for a superhero cape for Christmas, and I told the rest of the family, "Do not buy him one - I'm going to make a cape!" It wasn't easy (or pretty!), but I managed to turn out a doable (and very homemade-looking) cape with Tee Jay's help. (Each of his siblings have since asked for capes, and this year, it's finally Violet and Casey's turn to receive them - I cannot wait!)
Two years ago, when finances began getting a lot tighter in our household (where they unfortunately remain, especially anticipating having two kids in daycare!), Tee Jay threatened to give everyone just hugs for Christmas, but we managed to be thrifty in our shopping and present gifts as well.
Last year, the craftiness took over and many less-than-perfect items were given...
Like my first (and only, thus far) attempt at a purse, made from a hodge-podge of gorgeous fabrics, including an adorable pocket on the inside, and adorned with the most awesome button EVER (lifted from my Granny's button collection - with her permission, of course).
Like pillows for newly-renovated bedrooms.
Like funky scarves (which are soft but maybe not practical?).
Like nifty fabric coasters.
The men in our family didn't receive handmade presents, nor did Tee Jay's brothers, who will continue to be at tough-to-sew-for ages (14 and 10) this Christmas. But nearly everyone else received at least one little token of Boudreau craftiness.
Over the past several months, my head has been spinning with ideas of gifts for this Christmas, some which seem like they will be easy, others which will require my attempting techniques (and using special tools and materials) for the first time ever. My excitement grows each time I come up with yet another project to undertake, and yet...
...well-ell...
none of them are even started yet!! (Not even the aforementioned capes, which I've known for three years would be due to the girls Christmas 2011.) What's worse, none of these crafts are going to be as "simple" as the scarves and coasters from last year.
But I'm still determined, especially since Tee Jay's grandmother turned towards the homemade route last year and graced everyone in her family with a hand-knitted scarf, and I now cherish these, along with one done by his stepmom the Christmas before. It was like supporting evidence for the homespun-is-best (though not always easiest or cheapest) argument.
Thus far, Finlay is still a MAJOR cuddlebug, and he doesn't like to "play independently" for any period of time longer than 4 minutes. But I'm hoping and praying that before my maternity leave ends, I've got him taking at least one all-by-himself nap each afternoon - so that I can get cracking on these many ideas!
Tee Jay will read this and groan, I'm sure, as today I'm busy making tutus (more on that soon), we've still got work to complete for our entryway coat rack and shoe bins, Casey's bedroom (which has been a work-in-progress since her birthday in February), and of course, the kids' Halloween costumes! (You know what? I'm going to groan at the Halloween realization, too - it's coming so soon, and I've done ZILCH for it so far.)
At least I've got good intentions... even though I feel we're almost always living in the house of crafting insanity (and projects-never-quite-finished).
I leave you with this, a picture I stumbled upon when looking through the Christmas set. It's of me, Teresa and Erin - three sisters each holding a sketch of ourselves (in childhood) done by my Aunt Sara Garska. These are homemade treasures at their best, and I'm appreciative that my parents bestowed us girls each with the original last year, making professional-type copies for their own homes. (And of course, I'm forever grateful to Aunt Sara for loving us and wanting to draw us in the first place!)
... and OH, help me God, it just dawned on me that I still haven't finished Casey's Christmas stocking (made from her newborn coming-home-from-the-hospital outfit), and she's finally at the age where I should have her stocking made, as she'll remember it year to year. And, at nearly three, I'm pretty sure she'll want to know where Finlay's is, too. Prayers, people! Crafting prayers are needed!
After a few years of baking, my nephew Jamie asked for a superhero cape for Christmas, and I told the rest of the family, "Do not buy him one - I'm going to make a cape!" It wasn't easy (or pretty!), but I managed to turn out a doable (and very homemade-looking) cape with Tee Jay's help. (Each of his siblings have since asked for capes, and this year, it's finally Violet and Casey's turn to receive them - I cannot wait!)
Two years ago, when finances began getting a lot tighter in our household (where they unfortunately remain, especially anticipating having two kids in daycare!), Tee Jay threatened to give everyone just hugs for Christmas, but we managed to be thrifty in our shopping and present gifts as well.
Last year, the craftiness took over and many less-than-perfect items were given...
Like my first (and only, thus far) attempt at a purse, made from a hodge-podge of gorgeous fabrics, including an adorable pocket on the inside, and adorned with the most awesome button EVER (lifted from my Granny's button collection - with her permission, of course).
Like pillows for newly-renovated bedrooms.
Like funky scarves (which are soft but maybe not practical?).
Like nifty fabric coasters.
The men in our family didn't receive handmade presents, nor did Tee Jay's brothers, who will continue to be at tough-to-sew-for ages (14 and 10) this Christmas. But nearly everyone else received at least one little token of Boudreau craftiness.
Over the past several months, my head has been spinning with ideas of gifts for this Christmas, some which seem like they will be easy, others which will require my attempting techniques (and using special tools and materials) for the first time ever. My excitement grows each time I come up with yet another project to undertake, and yet...
...well-ell...
none of them are even started yet!! (Not even the aforementioned capes, which I've known for three years would be due to the girls Christmas 2011.) What's worse, none of these crafts are going to be as "simple" as the scarves and coasters from last year.
But I'm still determined, especially since Tee Jay's grandmother turned towards the homemade route last year and graced everyone in her family with a hand-knitted scarf, and I now cherish these, along with one done by his stepmom the Christmas before. It was like supporting evidence for the homespun-is-best (though not always easiest or cheapest) argument.
Thus far, Finlay is still a MAJOR cuddlebug, and he doesn't like to "play independently" for any period of time longer than 4 minutes. But I'm hoping and praying that before my maternity leave ends, I've got him taking at least one all-by-himself nap each afternoon - so that I can get cracking on these many ideas!
Tee Jay will read this and groan, I'm sure, as today I'm busy making tutus (more on that soon), we've still got work to complete for our entryway coat rack and shoe bins, Casey's bedroom (which has been a work-in-progress since her birthday in February), and of course, the kids' Halloween costumes! (You know what? I'm going to groan at the Halloween realization, too - it's coming so soon, and I've done ZILCH for it so far.)
At least I've got good intentions... even though I feel we're almost always living in the house of crafting insanity (and projects-never-quite-finished).
I leave you with this, a picture I stumbled upon when looking through the Christmas set. It's of me, Teresa and Erin - three sisters each holding a sketch of ourselves (in childhood) done by my Aunt Sara Garska. These are homemade treasures at their best, and I'm appreciative that my parents bestowed us girls each with the original last year, making professional-type copies for their own homes. (And of course, I'm forever grateful to Aunt Sara for loving us and wanting to draw us in the first place!)
... and OH, help me God, it just dawned on me that I still haven't finished Casey's Christmas stocking (made from her newborn coming-home-from-the-hospital outfit), and she's finally at the age where I should have her stocking made, as she'll remember it year to year. And, at nearly three, I'm pretty sure she'll want to know where Finlay's is, too. Prayers, people! Crafting prayers are needed!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)