Tickle Me or Kill Me?...

A furry red monster has moved into our home. Rather, he's INVADED it.

Tee Jay and I do not like the idea of sitting Casey in front of the TV on a regular basis, so shortly after she was born, we moved our living room set to the basement. We gave up our obsession with DVR'ing and canceled our cable subscription, and then when the bunny ears and digital converter box began to fail, we renewed again - but this time for the bare minimum basic package. (Meaning that for about $6/month, we can tune into ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, and PBS. And that's about it, folks.)

However... we're big fans of the computer, so as she grew, Casey became more interested in doing Mommy and Daddy things. And when she tried to use our keyboard and mouse, we figured we'd find something fun to show her online.

By plugging "Sesame Street Celebrities" into youtube, we stumbled across this cute little number (four!) by Fiest:


Casey seemed to enjoy herself, so we added a couple of different alphabet songs (Elmo with India Arie - and lots of monsters with Miles) and fun spinoffs (Norah Jones lamenting for the letter "Y," the Goo Goo Dolls singing to Elmo about being proud, etc.) to our repertoire.

Granted, we knew that Elmo starred in a couple of these videos. We knew his name was mentioned a few times. But we never said to Casey, "Let's go watch Elmo!" We'd just occasionally pull her into our laps for a quick song when she was bugging us about our time on Facebook. (She obviously wasn't asking us to get off of Blogger, since... we never post! Sorry!)

So, imagine our surprise one evening this week when I was at the kitchen sink telling Tee Jay something about our nephew and Elmo, and from her high chair, we heard a clear, perfect "EL-MO." Tee Jay said, "Did she just say Elmo?" "Uh, I think so." We both turned around to look at Casey, who repeated "EL-MO" and then put up her little palms and shrugged her shoulders, as if to ask "Where did he go??"

To make the connection more complete, she then craned her neck to the left and turned around as much as possible, pointing into the living room at the computer. "EL-MO." And Elmo it was. We rewarded our girl with three, four, or maybe five video viewings that night.

However, her thirst hadn't been satisfied and the requests haven't stopped. Casey asks for Elmo anytime the computer is in her view (we've even started closing the rolltop desk, hoping that "out of sight - out of mind" works), she asks for Elmo while getting ready in the morning, and she asks for Elmo in the car driving home each evening.

How is it, that no matter what, this furry red monster always seems to steal children's hearts??

Thankfully, I don't find Elmo as annoying as other kids' obsessions (like Barney - oh, shoot me if she ever learns who he is...). We don't watch Sesame Street and we don't own Elmo's World videos, so our limited exposure is in the cute mostly-sung-by-famous-folks internet videos.

We headed to Target tonight as a family in search of something "EL-MO" for Casey, so that the computer is not the only way to fulfill her. Though her Daddy thought it was fun to make all of the talking, walking, shaking, tickle-me, and whatnot Elmo dolls do their thing (talking, walking, shaking, tickle-laughing, etc.) in the toy aisle, I'm pleased that we brought home the ever-quiet Elmo coloring book, Elmo waterproof bathtub book, and a little red furry, huggable, lovable, no-batteries-necessary stuffed Elmo.

It amazed me, walking out of the store, that Casey has her first real character "lovey." Is she really that grown up?? I wonder what comes next...


(And there are no pictures yet, as the kiddo will NOT keep still with her new Elmo items!)

Mood Swings...

I miscarried a baby in May, and I’ve thought several times about letting my teeny blogging world in on the news (though I don’t know if anyone still reads this thing, since I’ve been the slacker-as-always), but just never got around to it. Never had the right words. I didn’t need sympathy. I didn’t want words of encouragement. Our miscarriage was just another step along the way in my life, through our marriage, and for our family. It wasn’t an easy process, but it wasn’t the end of our world, either. I have an amazingly supportive husband, and together we have faith.

This morning, I laid in bed for a few extra minutes, not quite wanting to get up and start the day, when I thought about a friend who has recently become pregnant. I realized that not once since I heard her news have I felt anything but thrilled for her, her husband, and their first child. I’ve been excited that they’re adding to their brood and happy that there’ll be another wonderful baby for me to admire and visit. As I ignored the alarm clock and smiled about my friend’s good fortune, it dawned on me that I must really be doing okay with my miscarriage.

However…
Casey’s best friend at day care is a little boy named Lucas. When the two of them see each other in the mornings, they run to one another and dole out HUGE hugs (which caused them to fall on top of each other and bang heads yesterday morning!). I wrote about Lucas in Casey’s baby book one night this week, mentioning that he’s her first “real” friend that she made all on her own. Because there’s a space to include a picture of the friend, I made a mental note to ask Lucas’ parents’ permission to take a shot of the two together. I don’t see his parents every day, as our dropoff and pickup times don’t always correspond, but I figured I would get a chance soon enough.

This morning, Lucas and his mom drove into the day care’s parking lot just after Casey and I. We walked over to their car, and Casey waved excitedly at Lucas while waiting for his mom to hoist him out of his car seat. While Lucas’ mom was leaning into the car to get him, I noticed that she had a stylish, cloth band at the top of the back of her jeans and thought, “That’s cute – and funny, in a way – I had a pair of maternity jeans like that.” Once we got inside of the building and I actually saw the front and side of Lucas’ mother, it hit me like a truck… “Ohmigod, she IS pregnant.” She had the most adorable belly and had probably ‘popped’ just recently.

I was so completely taken aback by this realization that I couldn’t utter a single word. I didn’t ask Lucas’ mom about taking a picture of our kiddos, I didn’t ask her about being pregnant (because I didn’t want to be rude), etc. I just signed Casey in, dropped off her towel and change of clothes/shoes (Fridays are Splash Days! yea!), and gave her a big kiss good bye.

I walked out to my car feeling ANGRY. I was sooooooo pissed off, thinking that Lucas’ mom is probably due around the same time or just slightly after I would have been due with my “Baby Bou Too” (our pre-miscarriage pet name for the baby). And if we would have had our second children around the same time as one another, they could have gone through Chesterbrook together and been best friends just like Lucas and Casey. I felt consumed with jealousy and anger, and had a churning stomach about my misfortune. I couldn’t help it.

I arrived to work feeling completely sorry for myself and oh-so-upset about this “what if” missed opportunity for my next child’s supposed new best friend (seriously, how crazy were my thoughts?). Before I could even get settled at my desk, however, I was confronted by a coworker with good news – her cousin, who had been trying to get pregnant for QUITE some time (and had been a topic of our conversations and hopes) was finally expecting a baby.

My heart leapt in excitement. “Really????? No way! Ohmigosh, I’m sooooo happy for her!” I gushed. And I meant it. And, sheepishly, I realized that up until that point, I hadn’t felt happiness for Lucas’ growing family. Talk about a wake up call…

Since this morning, I have thought about what I’ll do the next time I see Lucas’ mom and how I can honestly tell her how joyous I am for her. I have thought about how I don’t like that I had a miscarriage – but that I know in my heart if Baby Bou Too had been born, our next child (should God bless us with another) wouldn’t have existed, because the timing wouldn’t have been exactly what it will be when it happens.

I may not be able to fully avoid a future knee-jerk jealous reaction… but if I have one, I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to squelch the anger and envy quickly. And I’ll remind myself to just dwell on the fact that I’m exactly where I need to be, and so is my family.