I just came on here to check out my granola bar recipe, as it's been awhile since I made them, and I can't seem to find instructions in paper form here in the house.
I found the appropriate post (I'm adding flax seed to the dry ingredients today, but won't know what else until I get into the kitchen), but also started reading the ones around it...
about Casey turning 11 months old...
about silly things we've said to each other...
about birthdays and Christmases and Red Sox seasons...
And in reading those posts, I began to feel guilty that when she asked for more hugs the FIFTH time today when she was supposed to be napping, I gave her the requested hugs, but somewhat begrudgingly. I told her sternly that Finlay and I were NOT coming into her room again - we were NOT going to give another hug until after her nap. And NO, Daddy was NOT going to give her a hug, because YES, Daddy was at work. (She continued to insist that I send him in, and I lost my temper momentarily and said, "Daddy is NOT here!! He's NOT HERE! Take. Your. Nap!")
I have to remind myself that the little girl who sometimes drives me crazy is MY little girl. My smart, sweet, loving, wanting-to-give-too-many-hugs daughter. Our only child before Finlay arrived and before we lost a lot of our patience. Poor thing. I think I'll make the granola bars extra awesome, just for her.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Two Months...
As promised, though late, here are Finlay's two month stats:
Weight: 11lbs, 12oz
Height: 22.5in
Head Circumference: 14.25in
These seem like good measurements to us, especially because we can see Finlay's growth happening each day. He looks completely proportional to us, and yet...
The doctor's office gave us the percentiles for the above numbers, and I guess he's not quite proportional after all!
Weight: 50th percentile
Height: 40-45th percentile
Head Circumference: well... he's not even on the chart!
Dr. T was not at all concerned about the size of Finlay's little head, saying that he's been growing at the same rate since birth, and some kids just have smaller sizes.
Personally, I think that head circumference measurements must run in such a small range, since Casey always fell around the 10th percentile, her friend was way OFF the charts (as in, he had a big enough head that he was actually checked by a specialist as a "just in case"), and yet they both looked pretty much the same to everyone. I guess that (so far) Tee Jay and I produce kids with bitty noggins... but man, are those kids ever cute!!
In Finlay's second month, he began to smile and coo at us. I was anxious* for the first real smile, and it came while I was bathing Finlay by myself (a job usually reserved for Daddy) when he was 6weeks, 2days old. It was an adorable sight to behold, but a fleeting one. Finlay appears to be our "Mr. Serious" and his smiles are few and far between. (In fact, I'm pretty sure that ceiling fans have coaxed far more grins out of him than family members!)
The cooing is another story all together, since that is something we get to hear plenty of. It began as a tiny little "O" lip formation, but has progressed into many different sounds, two and three syllables at a time, some trilling of the tongue, and so on.
Just in case you were curious (and I can probably assure myself that you weren't), Finlay's bowel movements have slowed down significantly, and he presents me with a stinky diaper once every 5 or 6 days. People are always amazed by this information, but it's completely normal for his age and as a result of being exclusively breastfed. I remember when Casey started a phase of pooping once every two weeks! (Can you imagine?)
Sleep patterns have really become wonderful at nighttime over the second month. After he eats before bedtime (about 7 or 8PM), Finlay then sleeps for 5-6 hours before waking for the next feeding; then he goes back to an every-3-hour schedule. Casey did not steadily sleep for a long stretch like this until she was well past a year old, and Finlay's decision to do so has been met with much Mommy-approval.
On a special note, Finlay was Baptized alongside his cousin Eliza when he was seven weeks old, and we'll add a post about it with pictures.
We're loving our family of four and will share more soon!
* Look up the proper grammatical usage of "anxious" and you'll learn that I'm using this word incorrectly - Tee Jay is a stickler about it.
Weight: 11lbs, 12oz
Height: 22.5in
Head Circumference: 14.25in
These seem like good measurements to us, especially because we can see Finlay's growth happening each day. He looks completely proportional to us, and yet...
The doctor's office gave us the percentiles for the above numbers, and I guess he's not quite proportional after all!
Weight: 50th percentile
Height: 40-45th percentile
Head Circumference: well... he's not even on the chart!
Dr. T was not at all concerned about the size of Finlay's little head, saying that he's been growing at the same rate since birth, and some kids just have smaller sizes.
Personally, I think that head circumference measurements must run in such a small range, since Casey always fell around the 10th percentile, her friend was way OFF the charts (as in, he had a big enough head that he was actually checked by a specialist as a "just in case"), and yet they both looked pretty much the same to everyone. I guess that (so far) Tee Jay and I produce kids with bitty noggins... but man, are those kids ever cute!!
In Finlay's second month, he began to smile and coo at us. I was anxious* for the first real smile, and it came while I was bathing Finlay by myself (a job usually reserved for Daddy) when he was 6weeks, 2days old. It was an adorable sight to behold, but a fleeting one. Finlay appears to be our "Mr. Serious" and his smiles are few and far between. (In fact, I'm pretty sure that ceiling fans have coaxed far more grins out of him than family members!)
The cooing is another story all together, since that is something we get to hear plenty of. It began as a tiny little "O" lip formation, but has progressed into many different sounds, two and three syllables at a time, some trilling of the tongue, and so on.
Just in case you were curious (and I can probably assure myself that you weren't), Finlay's bowel movements have slowed down significantly, and he presents me with a stinky diaper once every 5 or 6 days. People are always amazed by this information, but it's completely normal for his age and as a result of being exclusively breastfed. I remember when Casey started a phase of pooping once every two weeks! (Can you imagine?)
Sleep patterns have really become wonderful at nighttime over the second month. After he eats before bedtime (about 7 or 8PM), Finlay then sleeps for 5-6 hours before waking for the next feeding; then he goes back to an every-3-hour schedule. Casey did not steadily sleep for a long stretch like this until she was well past a year old, and Finlay's decision to do so has been met with much Mommy-approval.
On a special note, Finlay was Baptized alongside his cousin Eliza when he was seven weeks old, and we'll add a post about it with pictures.
We're loving our family of four and will share more soon!
* Look up the proper grammatical usage of "anxious" and you'll learn that I'm using this word incorrectly - Tee Jay is a stickler about it.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The House of Crafting Insanity...
The Boudreau family gets together each year on the Sunday preceding Christmas to enjoy each other's company and sing carols in Grandma's basement around the up-and-decorated-all-year-long tree. Around the same time that I was ushered into this tradition, my two fellow admin assistants and I decided to homebake Christmas goodies for the executives in our department. I figured that because there were so many Boudreaus to celebrate the holidays with, I would bake treats for them as well... and crafty Christmases began.
After a few years of baking, my nephew Jamie asked for a superhero cape for Christmas, and I told the rest of the family, "Do not buy him one - I'm going to make a cape!" It wasn't easy (or pretty!), but I managed to turn out a doable (and very homemade-looking) cape with Tee Jay's help. (Each of his siblings have since asked for capes, and this year, it's finally Violet and Casey's turn to receive them - I cannot wait!)
Two years ago, when finances began getting a lot tighter in our household (where they unfortunately remain, especially anticipating having two kids in daycare!), Tee Jay threatened to give everyone just hugs for Christmas, but we managed to be thrifty in our shopping and present gifts as well.
Last year, the craftiness took over and many less-than-perfect items were given...
Like my first (and only, thus far) attempt at a purse, made from a hodge-podge of gorgeous fabrics, including an adorable pocket on the inside, and adorned with the most awesome button EVER (lifted from my Granny's button collection - with her permission, of course).
Like pillows for newly-renovated bedrooms.
Like funky scarves (which are soft but maybe not practical?).
Like nifty fabric coasters.
The men in our family didn't receive handmade presents, nor did Tee Jay's brothers, who will continue to be at tough-to-sew-for ages (14 and 10) this Christmas. But nearly everyone else received at least one little token of Boudreau craftiness.
Over the past several months, my head has been spinning with ideas of gifts for this Christmas, some which seem like they will be easy, others which will require my attempting techniques (and using special tools and materials) for the first time ever. My excitement grows each time I come up with yet another project to undertake, and yet...
...well-ell...
none of them are even started yet!! (Not even the aforementioned capes, which I've known for three years would be due to the girls Christmas 2011.) What's worse, none of these crafts are going to be as "simple" as the scarves and coasters from last year.
But I'm still determined, especially since Tee Jay's grandmother turned towards the homemade route last year and graced everyone in her family with a hand-knitted scarf, and I now cherish these, along with one done by his stepmom the Christmas before. It was like supporting evidence for the homespun-is-best (though not always easiest or cheapest) argument.
Thus far, Finlay is still a MAJOR cuddlebug, and he doesn't like to "play independently" for any period of time longer than 4 minutes. But I'm hoping and praying that before my maternity leave ends, I've got him taking at least one all-by-himself nap each afternoon - so that I can get cracking on these many ideas!
Tee Jay will read this and groan, I'm sure, as today I'm busy making tutus (more on that soon), we've still got work to complete for our entryway coat rack and shoe bins, Casey's bedroom (which has been a work-in-progress since her birthday in February), and of course, the kids' Halloween costumes! (You know what? I'm going to groan at the Halloween realization, too - it's coming so soon, and I've done ZILCH for it so far.)
At least I've got good intentions... even though I feel we're almost always living in the house of crafting insanity (and projects-never-quite-finished).
I leave you with this, a picture I stumbled upon when looking through the Christmas set. It's of me, Teresa and Erin - three sisters each holding a sketch of ourselves (in childhood) done by my Aunt Sara Garska. These are homemade treasures at their best, and I'm appreciative that my parents bestowed us girls each with the original last year, making professional-type copies for their own homes. (And of course, I'm forever grateful to Aunt Sara for loving us and wanting to draw us in the first place!)
... and OH, help me God, it just dawned on me that I still haven't finished Casey's Christmas stocking (made from her newborn coming-home-from-the-hospital outfit), and she's finally at the age where I should have her stocking made, as she'll remember it year to year. And, at nearly three, I'm pretty sure she'll want to know where Finlay's is, too. Prayers, people! Crafting prayers are needed!
After a few years of baking, my nephew Jamie asked for a superhero cape for Christmas, and I told the rest of the family, "Do not buy him one - I'm going to make a cape!" It wasn't easy (or pretty!), but I managed to turn out a doable (and very homemade-looking) cape with Tee Jay's help. (Each of his siblings have since asked for capes, and this year, it's finally Violet and Casey's turn to receive them - I cannot wait!)
Two years ago, when finances began getting a lot tighter in our household (where they unfortunately remain, especially anticipating having two kids in daycare!), Tee Jay threatened to give everyone just hugs for Christmas, but we managed to be thrifty in our shopping and present gifts as well.
Last year, the craftiness took over and many less-than-perfect items were given...
Like my first (and only, thus far) attempt at a purse, made from a hodge-podge of gorgeous fabrics, including an adorable pocket on the inside, and adorned with the most awesome button EVER (lifted from my Granny's button collection - with her permission, of course).
Like pillows for newly-renovated bedrooms.
Like funky scarves (which are soft but maybe not practical?).
Like nifty fabric coasters.
The men in our family didn't receive handmade presents, nor did Tee Jay's brothers, who will continue to be at tough-to-sew-for ages (14 and 10) this Christmas. But nearly everyone else received at least one little token of Boudreau craftiness.
Over the past several months, my head has been spinning with ideas of gifts for this Christmas, some which seem like they will be easy, others which will require my attempting techniques (and using special tools and materials) for the first time ever. My excitement grows each time I come up with yet another project to undertake, and yet...
...well-ell...
none of them are even started yet!! (Not even the aforementioned capes, which I've known for three years would be due to the girls Christmas 2011.) What's worse, none of these crafts are going to be as "simple" as the scarves and coasters from last year.
But I'm still determined, especially since Tee Jay's grandmother turned towards the homemade route last year and graced everyone in her family with a hand-knitted scarf, and I now cherish these, along with one done by his stepmom the Christmas before. It was like supporting evidence for the homespun-is-best (though not always easiest or cheapest) argument.
Thus far, Finlay is still a MAJOR cuddlebug, and he doesn't like to "play independently" for any period of time longer than 4 minutes. But I'm hoping and praying that before my maternity leave ends, I've got him taking at least one all-by-himself nap each afternoon - so that I can get cracking on these many ideas!
Tee Jay will read this and groan, I'm sure, as today I'm busy making tutus (more on that soon), we've still got work to complete for our entryway coat rack and shoe bins, Casey's bedroom (which has been a work-in-progress since her birthday in February), and of course, the kids' Halloween costumes! (You know what? I'm going to groan at the Halloween realization, too - it's coming so soon, and I've done ZILCH for it so far.)
At least I've got good intentions... even though I feel we're almost always living in the house of crafting insanity (and projects-never-quite-finished).
I leave you with this, a picture I stumbled upon when looking through the Christmas set. It's of me, Teresa and Erin - three sisters each holding a sketch of ourselves (in childhood) done by my Aunt Sara Garska. These are homemade treasures at their best, and I'm appreciative that my parents bestowed us girls each with the original last year, making professional-type copies for their own homes. (And of course, I'm forever grateful to Aunt Sara for loving us and wanting to draw us in the first place!)
... and OH, help me God, it just dawned on me that I still haven't finished Casey's Christmas stocking (made from her newborn coming-home-from-the-hospital outfit), and she's finally at the age where I should have her stocking made, as she'll remember it year to year. And, at nearly three, I'm pretty sure she'll want to know where Finlay's is, too. Prayers, people! Crafting prayers are needed!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Measuring Up...
Finlay is now over two months old, but since I haven't yet posted any one-month stats, I figured I'd start there first... and see how many days it takes me to getting around to the two-month ones!
At birth, Fin was 7lbs, 15oz ~ 19in long. At his one week appointment, even though we were dealing with some slight jaundice (enough to make me a slobbery mess the last day in the hospital, petrified we'd get readmitted the way we were with Casey), he'd gotten himself just over the birth weight, tipping the scales at 8lbs. It was thrilling to me, as you might remember that we waited three weeks for Casey to hit her birth weight!
For his one month appointment, I continued to be pleased, as he weighed 9lbs, 8oz ~ and was 21.5in long ~ with a head circumference of 13.75in. I didn't write down where those measurements fell in the "average baby" percentile ranges, but the nurse practitioner at our visit assured us that he was falling within very normal limits and was doing great. She actually wrote in his little book that "Mom, Dad, and big sister are doing a super job!" (rah rah sis boom bah)
As previously mentioned, we have decided to capture Finlay's growth in a different way than Casey's (photographs done monthly in the glider), and here's our little reveal:
Finlay is being shot weekly on a different fabric, so that by the end of the year, we have a whole "quilt" of growth pictures. Hopefully, we keep up with it (so far, so good)!
At one month old, Fin was still a very sleepy baby with few alert moments during the day. When his eyes were open, they were definitely focusing on the people staring at and admiring him, but there wasn't much interaction or personality shown.
In the first month, he met most of his extended family members and many friends, and he endured countless hugs and kisses from big sis Casey.
By the end of the month, I was just barely falling into some sort of comfort with how to handle two kiddos at once - and I was doing so on predictable (though not long) intervals of sleep, since he woke every 2.5-3 hours for nursing.
Posting two-month stats soon!
At birth, Fin was 7lbs, 15oz ~ 19in long. At his one week appointment, even though we were dealing with some slight jaundice (enough to make me a slobbery mess the last day in the hospital, petrified we'd get readmitted the way we were with Casey), he'd gotten himself just over the birth weight, tipping the scales at 8lbs. It was thrilling to me, as you might remember that we waited three weeks for Casey to hit her birth weight!
For his one month appointment, I continued to be pleased, as he weighed 9lbs, 8oz ~ and was 21.5in long ~ with a head circumference of 13.75in. I didn't write down where those measurements fell in the "average baby" percentile ranges, but the nurse practitioner at our visit assured us that he was falling within very normal limits and was doing great. She actually wrote in his little book that "Mom, Dad, and big sister are doing a super job!" (rah rah sis boom bah)
As previously mentioned, we have decided to capture Finlay's growth in a different way than Casey's (photographs done monthly in the glider), and here's our little reveal:
Finlay is being shot weekly on a different fabric, so that by the end of the year, we have a whole "quilt" of growth pictures. Hopefully, we keep up with it (so far, so good)!
At one month old, Fin was still a very sleepy baby with few alert moments during the day. When his eyes were open, they were definitely focusing on the people staring at and admiring him, but there wasn't much interaction or personality shown.
In the first month, he met most of his extended family members and many friends, and he endured countless hugs and kisses from big sis Casey.
By the end of the month, I was just barely falling into some sort of comfort with how to handle two kiddos at once - and I was doing so on predictable (though not long) intervals of sleep, since he woke every 2.5-3 hours for nursing.
Posting two-month stats soon!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Another Month Bites the Dust...
My last post was on June 29th... which means it's been a month of no-blogging. Not surprising, I'm sure, to any readers left. (Are there any of you left??)
This month, just like the one before it, has gone by quickly. We're somewhat settling into a better routine here at home. Casey is attending school just three days a week (Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday) while I snuggle with Finlay and try to devote a lot of one-on-one time to him (though I'll admit that I often use these days to catch up on cleaning house, starting projects that will inevitably never be finished, and so on). On Mondays and Thursdays, I try to plan at least one fun out-of-the-house activity for Casey's sake (even if it's sometimes as simple as walking to the playground or having "splash day" in our own yard), and we both make time to sit and relax together in the moments that Finlay demands our (my) attention. I dreaded Mondays and Thursdays for the first few weeks of Finlay's life, simply because I wasn't use to juggling two children at once - and wasn't yet skilled at getting Casey to independently play (instead of getting into trouble) when necessary. (I also wasn't prepared back then for how to react when she'd hit Finlay. Yes, we dealt with a two-year-old hitting a two-week-old once or twice.) But I think that all of us are getting the hang of our new family.
Even Tee Jay has had to adjust, of course. His responsibilities have shifted somewhat (though certainly not lessened!). Before I had Fin, Tee Jay would arrive home around 4:15, relax, play on the computer, and then cook up a delicious dinner while watching his little kitchen TV. Casey and I would arrive home near 6:00 and be ready to eat, play, bathe, and hit the hay. Now when Tee Jay gets home, there is zero "alone time" available to him normally (except for the rare occasion when Fin and I have already headed out to pick up Casey on our own). He sits for about five minutes (usually holding the baby) before driving to NJ to get the girl. They arrive home and eat a meal that I have cooked. So though he's off the hook in the kitchen for the next few months, Tee Jay is still doing an incredible amount of housework (because my "housecleaning" moments on days alone with Finlay are pretty small, despite my feeling of accomplishment) and co-parenting (because two kids are a LOT of work, I tell ya!).
Finlay has been doing great, and we're finally seeing a little bit of "chub" developing on him. I wouldn't say he has rolls yet, but lines are starting to show on his arms and legs and I know those delicious, want-to-gobble-them-up rolls are coming soon. Though he looks completely proportionate to me, each time he's next to another baby near his age, Finlay's head looks so much smaller. He certainly doesn't have the hanging cheeks that Casey had... maybe they're still to come. He usually drinks from a bottle (of pumped milk) once a day so that when I return to work, he'll be a seasoned pro at switching from the breast to the bottle and back again.
I almost don't want to post this, in case it jinxes us in the future, but Fin has not yet hit a colicky phase, which Casey entered into at 6 weeks old (and didn't get out of until 12 weeks). He is more alert during the daytime (we had several smiley staring contests today), but is still a big napper. It makes me nervous that maybe he should be awake more, because I honestly cannot remember what Casey was like at this age, but then I think that he's probably exactly where he should be at this point. In the evenings, Casey is normally asleep (or at least in bed) around 7:30, and I nurse Finlay around 8:00 or 8:30. At that point, he goes down pretty easily into his co-sleeper and snoozes for about 5 to 5 1/2 hours. I nurse him again, and he's up next about 3 hours later. Let me tell you, this is a welcome routine! Casey didn't sleep this soundly until she was WELL over a year old. Granted, I know things are bound to change any day, but I'll take what I can get at this point.
I'll write more soon about our recent trip to RI and NH, as well as Finlay's one month stats (just in time for his two month checkup) as well as our "monthly" photos... which have a different spin from Casey's monthly in-the-glider shots.
I'll write more soon about our recent trip to RI and NH, as well as Finlay's one month stats (just in time for his two month checkup) as well as our "monthly" photos... which have a different spin from Casey's monthly in-the-glider shots.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Perspectives...
I posted on Facebook yesterday that as terrible as it might sound, I've sort of been hating my maternity leave so far.
Sounds bitter. Mean. Not very nice-mommy-like. And ever so slightly "postpartum blues," right? I really don't think it's the blues at all. Just a real statement that probably a lot of moms feel (whether it's kiddo #1 or #2 or more).
I mean, I love love LOVE Finlay. He's super cute, makes all kinds of squeaking noises and little smiles, and absolutely lights up his older sister's world. (His errant hand will graze her face as she literally plants down on top of him, and she'll squeal in delight, "Mommy! Finlay touched me! FINLAY TOUCHED ME!!!")
When we first arrived home from the hospital, I was moving slow and taking things easy, due to the c-section and normal after-birth recovery necessary to any mother. We had family here in town, and when they left, along came my mom (and her fiance) and my sister for the weekend. Finally alone as a family of four the following week, I developed a sinus headache but figured it would go away soon enough on its own. Tee Jay was off from work that whole week, and we enjoyed our time together, despite my occasional complaint of "Why can't my head stop killing me?"
At the end of that week, on my first night of sleeping on Finlay's side of the bed, I strained my neck in wanting to watch and attend to him... and therefore pulled a muscle, which has resulted in nearly two weeks of subsequent pain. And I'm not just talking a little dull throbbing here and there. I was experiencing massive, major pain that would radiate up into my skull. The kind of pain that you can't just sit around and "take." The kind that definitely warrants some medication.
I put myself back on a regular dosage of Motrin (having been on it initially for the c-section healing) and booked an appointment at the doctor's office, where I was also prescribed an antibiotic for what was confirmed to most probably be a sinus infection. My doctor also wrote a script for a c-spine x-ray (as a "just in case" if I continued to be in severe pain by the end of this week) and taught me a couple of ways that he'd like me to sleep to best support the neck. (Tee Jay has subsequently moved back to Finlay's side of the bed for now, and he dutifully wakes up to hand me the baby for nursing throughout the night, bless his heart.)
Among the antibiotic and its corresponding acidophilus, pain medication, Colace, and prenatal vitamins, there were days when I was taking 17 pills in total. Casey has begun counting my dosages for me when I take them, and she asked in the car this morning, "Your neck and head hurt?" because there's no escaping Christina-complaints in this household. Everyone knows that mommy hasn't been up to par.
Tee Jay began to feel ill (stomach-wise) at work on Monday and ended up having a co-worker drive him home after he made a couple of failed attempts to venture there himself. Within two hours of his being snug on the couch, I too was sick, and I spent the better part of that evening vomiting wherever I could make it (the utility sink, Casey's potty, and thankfully often the toilet - where normal people choose to do such a thing). I felt a deep despair that night, crying, praying that God would send one of our mothers to our doorstep, wondering how on earth we'd manage to take care of two children while sick. Once the stomach bug passed (we are very appreciative that it seemed to be a 12-hour thing), I moaned that my neck and head still felt like they were literally exploding. I complained that I didn't know how I'd manage to keep two children happy all by myself on Thursday (when Casey is not in day care). I cried that I felt like I was failing as a mother and not being able to truly just enjoy my children and my time home with them.
And while I know my feelings were all valid and normal, especially when you add post-pregnancy hormones into the mix, last night I made a conscious decision to try to put things into a different perspective and just "offer it up."
Growing up, my mom often told us that when times seemed really hard, one of our options was to "offer it up" for someone or something else. As in offering up our own pain to God (essentially just "dealing" with it) for the sake of a suffering friend, the unborn children in this world, a special intention, or so on. It may not have always been easy, but there is a power in the human brain that allows us to focus our energy away from our own trials when focusing on prayer for another's tribulation. So it usually worked, and it's a phrase I've heard myself and both of my sisters mention in our adulthood.
I didn't need to look far in "offering it up" last night.
First off, my baby boy turned three weeks old on Monday, and that day it dawned on me that he'd officially lived for one day longer than my friend Lori's baby Sofia (for whom I requested prayers back in February). Lori and her husband, while they'd never brought a baby home before and probably didn't know all the mess and emotion they were in store for, anticipated their daughter's arrival with joy and excitement. When a labor-and-delivery complication cut off Sofie's air supply and left her in a vegetative state (for lack of a better term), they prayed with all their might that some miracle could happen and reverse the effects of the disastrous delivery. They stayed in the hospital for 20 days (Lori literally never left it, and I'm not sure if Mike did either) and watched their still little daughter with all the love and determination they could muster. When they brought her home to let her pass peacefully surrounded by the love (and nursery) they had prepared for her there, they were able to experience what was probably the most beautiful but excruciating event any parent ever could imagine. Since that day, Lori's online posts reflect a lot of pain, a lot of slow healing, and a lot of honesty. And while she hasn't had to deal with chapped breasts, or been drained by a baby waking up all night long, or tried to juggle a toddler and an infant at the same time , or worried about what a particular cry might indicate, I know that she'd trade her situation for all of the new mother woes in the universe. So I offer my pain up for Lori.
I also found out last night that my cousin Justin will soon be deployed to Afghanistan, leaving his wife, their 20-month-old son Jackson and their 3-week-old son Griffin (born just three days after Finlay) in their housing in Germany. I cried last night for Justin and the boys, but mostly for Ali, who will too soon be handling single-parenthood while also worrying about her husband's well-being. I told Tee Jay that for all the head- and neck- and stomach-aches in the world, I cannot imagine his leaving me in another country to take care of both kids and fend for myself. I absolutely don't think that I am a strong enough person to do it, and I wonder where Ali will get her strength. So I offer up my pain for her, too, hoping that by doing so, a little bit of the courage she'll need is coming from my prayers.
I guess it's all about perspective... and I think I'm finally ready to embrace my new one and learn to enjoy all the blessings I have, no matter if my head is pounding or not.
Sounds bitter. Mean. Not very nice-mommy-like. And ever so slightly "postpartum blues," right? I really don't think it's the blues at all. Just a real statement that probably a lot of moms feel (whether it's kiddo #1 or #2 or more).
I mean, I love love LOVE Finlay. He's super cute, makes all kinds of squeaking noises and little smiles, and absolutely lights up his older sister's world. (His errant hand will graze her face as she literally plants down on top of him, and she'll squeal in delight, "Mommy! Finlay touched me! FINLAY TOUCHED ME!!!")
When we first arrived home from the hospital, I was moving slow and taking things easy, due to the c-section and normal after-birth recovery necessary to any mother. We had family here in town, and when they left, along came my mom (and her fiance) and my sister for the weekend. Finally alone as a family of four the following week, I developed a sinus headache but figured it would go away soon enough on its own. Tee Jay was off from work that whole week, and we enjoyed our time together, despite my occasional complaint of "Why can't my head stop killing me?"
At the end of that week, on my first night of sleeping on Finlay's side of the bed, I strained my neck in wanting to watch and attend to him... and therefore pulled a muscle, which has resulted in nearly two weeks of subsequent pain. And I'm not just talking a little dull throbbing here and there. I was experiencing massive, major pain that would radiate up into my skull. The kind of pain that you can't just sit around and "take." The kind that definitely warrants some medication.
I put myself back on a regular dosage of Motrin (having been on it initially for the c-section healing) and booked an appointment at the doctor's office, where I was also prescribed an antibiotic for what was confirmed to most probably be a sinus infection. My doctor also wrote a script for a c-spine x-ray (as a "just in case" if I continued to be in severe pain by the end of this week) and taught me a couple of ways that he'd like me to sleep to best support the neck. (Tee Jay has subsequently moved back to Finlay's side of the bed for now, and he dutifully wakes up to hand me the baby for nursing throughout the night, bless his heart.)
Among the antibiotic and its corresponding acidophilus, pain medication, Colace, and prenatal vitamins, there were days when I was taking 17 pills in total. Casey has begun counting my dosages for me when I take them, and she asked in the car this morning, "Your neck and head hurt?" because there's no escaping Christina-complaints in this household. Everyone knows that mommy hasn't been up to par.
Tee Jay began to feel ill (stomach-wise) at work on Monday and ended up having a co-worker drive him home after he made a couple of failed attempts to venture there himself. Within two hours of his being snug on the couch, I too was sick, and I spent the better part of that evening vomiting wherever I could make it (the utility sink, Casey's potty, and thankfully often the toilet - where normal people choose to do such a thing). I felt a deep despair that night, crying, praying that God would send one of our mothers to our doorstep, wondering how on earth we'd manage to take care of two children while sick. Once the stomach bug passed (we are very appreciative that it seemed to be a 12-hour thing), I moaned that my neck and head still felt like they were literally exploding. I complained that I didn't know how I'd manage to keep two children happy all by myself on Thursday (when Casey is not in day care). I cried that I felt like I was failing as a mother and not being able to truly just enjoy my children and my time home with them.
And while I know my feelings were all valid and normal, especially when you add post-pregnancy hormones into the mix, last night I made a conscious decision to try to put things into a different perspective and just "offer it up."
Growing up, my mom often told us that when times seemed really hard, one of our options was to "offer it up" for someone or something else. As in offering up our own pain to God (essentially just "dealing" with it) for the sake of a suffering friend, the unborn children in this world, a special intention, or so on. It may not have always been easy, but there is a power in the human brain that allows us to focus our energy away from our own trials when focusing on prayer for another's tribulation. So it usually worked, and it's a phrase I've heard myself and both of my sisters mention in our adulthood.
I didn't need to look far in "offering it up" last night.
First off, my baby boy turned three weeks old on Monday, and that day it dawned on me that he'd officially lived for one day longer than my friend Lori's baby Sofia (for whom I requested prayers back in February). Lori and her husband, while they'd never brought a baby home before and probably didn't know all the mess and emotion they were in store for, anticipated their daughter's arrival with joy and excitement. When a labor-and-delivery complication cut off Sofie's air supply and left her in a vegetative state (for lack of a better term), they prayed with all their might that some miracle could happen and reverse the effects of the disastrous delivery. They stayed in the hospital for 20 days (Lori literally never left it, and I'm not sure if Mike did either) and watched their still little daughter with all the love and determination they could muster. When they brought her home to let her pass peacefully surrounded by the love (and nursery) they had prepared for her there, they were able to experience what was probably the most beautiful but excruciating event any parent ever could imagine. Since that day, Lori's online posts reflect a lot of pain, a lot of slow healing, and a lot of honesty. And while she hasn't had to deal with chapped breasts, or been drained by a baby waking up all night long, or tried to juggle a toddler and an infant at the same time , or worried about what a particular cry might indicate, I know that she'd trade her situation for all of the new mother woes in the universe. So I offer my pain up for Lori.
I also found out last night that my cousin Justin will soon be deployed to Afghanistan, leaving his wife, their 20-month-old son Jackson and their 3-week-old son Griffin (born just three days after Finlay) in their housing in Germany. I cried last night for Justin and the boys, but mostly for Ali, who will too soon be handling single-parenthood while also worrying about her husband's well-being. I told Tee Jay that for all the head- and neck- and stomach-aches in the world, I cannot imagine his leaving me in another country to take care of both kids and fend for myself. I absolutely don't think that I am a strong enough person to do it, and I wonder where Ali will get her strength. So I offer up my pain for her, too, hoping that by doing so, a little bit of the courage she'll need is coming from my prayers.
I guess it's all about perspective... and I think I'm finally ready to embrace my new one and learn to enjoy all the blessings I have, no matter if my head is pounding or not.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
He's Here!...
Well, 13 days later (and what else is new with such a blog slacker?), I'm happy to announce that
Finlay August Boudreau
joined our family! He arrived on Monday, June 6, 2011 at 8:12AM, weighing in at 7lbs,15oz and measuring 20in long. (My heaviest baby so far, but not my tallest.)
Finlay was delivered via a scheduled c-section (a decision that Tee Jay and I made several months earlier due to the fact that I'd had a c-section with Casey and preferred a repeat surgery to aid in having childcare and other details arranged ahead of time).
The evening before his birth, Tee Jay's mom, my dad, and my stepmother were all here in Philly with us, and we had a lovely dinner with them. Casey knew that her baby brother was going to be born the following day (she'd known for months that a) he was coming in June, b) a doctor would be taking him out of Mommy's belly, and c) that Grandma would bring her to the hospital to see us), and there was a definite excitement in the air.

I also experienced some apprehension that night, scared that something could potentially go wrong, that Finlay might not be healthy, that my relationship with Casey would never again be exactly like it was. Somehow, both Tee Jay and I finally fell asleep for a few short hours before we began our 4:30AM journey to the hospital.
There, I was hooked up to some monitors, administered an IV, and asked many questions. We met with the anesthesiologist and were finally ready to go. The surgery was scheduled to begin at 7:30AM, but due to some complications with another delivery (an unplanned c-section being whisked into the room next to ours), we didn't make headway until 8:01AM... and as you now know, Finlay was born just several minutes later.
Our poor little guy was scrunched way up high in my belly, and the two attending physicians manually pushed him down (pulling on my entire body basically) and then even used the vacuum briefly on the crown of Finlay's head. But he was delivered successfully and healthily, and to be honest, I felt better than even after my past c-section. (Yahoo! for that.)
I'll post more soon, but in the meantime, here he is!



Finlay August Boudreau
joined our family! He arrived on Monday, June 6, 2011 at 8:12AM, weighing in at 7lbs,15oz and measuring 20in long. (My heaviest baby so far, but not my tallest.)
Finlay was delivered via a scheduled c-section (a decision that Tee Jay and I made several months earlier due to the fact that I'd had a c-section with Casey and preferred a repeat surgery to aid in having childcare and other details arranged ahead of time).
The evening before his birth, Tee Jay's mom, my dad, and my stepmother were all here in Philly with us, and we had a lovely dinner with them. Casey knew that her baby brother was going to be born the following day (she'd known for months that a) he was coming in June, b) a doctor would be taking him out of Mommy's belly, and c) that Grandma would bring her to the hospital to see us), and there was a definite excitement in the air.

I also experienced some apprehension that night, scared that something could potentially go wrong, that Finlay might not be healthy, that my relationship with Casey would never again be exactly like it was. Somehow, both Tee Jay and I finally fell asleep for a few short hours before we began our 4:30AM journey to the hospital.
There, I was hooked up to some monitors, administered an IV, and asked many questions. We met with the anesthesiologist and were finally ready to go. The surgery was scheduled to begin at 7:30AM, but due to some complications with another delivery (an unplanned c-section being whisked into the room next to ours), we didn't make headway until 8:01AM... and as you now know, Finlay was born just several minutes later.
Our poor little guy was scrunched way up high in my belly, and the two attending physicians manually pushed him down (pulling on my entire body basically) and then even used the vacuum briefly on the crown of Finlay's head. But he was delivered successfully and healthily, and to be honest, I felt better than even after my past c-section. (Yahoo! for that.)
I'll post more soon, but in the meantime, here he is!
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