Yes, even at the ripe old age of 29, I am actually afraid of both thunder (which cannot harm me, I know!) and lightning. Thunderstorms have freaked me out since I was a child, and though I don't hide my head under the covers as an adult, I still feel very uneasy when a storm comes through.
It has just begun thundering here in the past five minutes, and the world looks gloomy outside.
I feel a bit gloomy on the inside, as Casey has been sleeping in her swing for over two hours now (and yes, I actually miss her when she's sleeping that long, even though I'm in the same room as her!), and our beautiful niece Clare is undergoing an echocardiogram in Dartmouth. I know that I posted last week about how fear isn't from God... but I'm always afraid for my family members, and today, it's Clare's turn.
To be honest, I have been reminded so much lately that this "love stuff" isn't for the weak. When I gave birth to Casey, my immediate love for her was so intense that it has opened me up to the greatest feelings of vulnerability I could have ever imagined (or more so than I could imagine!). To love her is to worry for her and to selfishly think about myself and my pain if she's ever in pain.
Today, I feel the vulnerability for Clare Bear, hoping that her cardiologists can figure out what's going on and help make her upbeat and healthy again. And I feel it for her parents; especially my sister, who is a Mommy like me and must have fears for her children under her incredible display of strength. And I feel it for my own mother, who is Mom to Tree and Grania to Clare and therefore entertains fears on top of fears.
Why should we love one another? Why is love the greatest gift of all? I wish that I didn't have to love all the time... and be exposed to everything that comes with it.
But April showers (and thunderstorms) bring May flowers, right? And these showers are a gift to us, even if we don't know how or why or when those flowers will bloom. We just have to trust.
The Prayer of St. Therese
May you have peace within today. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of you who choose to claim it.
2 comments:
Christina - that was so beautiful. Thank you!
Clare and our family are so blessed with such a loving, caring, and prayerful extended family. My strength is nothing compared to Clare's strength. If she can endure it, so can I!!
And I love thunderstorms! Here at our house tonight we were all excited to have the first thunderstorm of the season. Isn't that funny that we both had thunderstorms today? And had such opposite reactions to them?
Christina & Teresa ~ I do not know how I missed this post, but let me comment now! This was a most insightful post, and I thank both of you for allowing me to share in your loves, joys, and fears. God will always be with us, and Miss Clare will soon 'find' His healing powers. Love to all.....
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